[man sighing]
Actors are so fucking dumb.
I mean, I just fucking hate when they think that they matter.
So, you made a career out of making them think that they matter?
But you like having nice things, right?
No. Come on, dude. That guy's a fucking joke.
I mean, showing up without shoes to an event like that, it's...
I mean, I get it, but, you know, to make that much of an effort...
[sighing wearily]
And that fucking Rodney Dangerfield blazer?
I mean, grow up.
He has the fucking balls to call me stiff.
We're the people that get him paid.
And he has the fucking gall to call me a fucking...
I should have just knocked him out.
But what happens then?
I lose my fucking job.
-Right? -Mm.
I mean...
[sighing] Fucking shit!
I got fucking poor man's Aaron Eckhart fucking razzing me
in front of all my fucking...
Who the fuck is he? He's a fucking 45-year-old nobody,
sitting around, eating cereal, playing Call of Duty,
while we all fucking work for him.
What a fucking loser!
I mean, Hung was a mediocre show.
What else has he done?
Wasn't he in Boogie Nights?
Wait, whose fucking side are you on?
Well, you asked the question.
Yeah, but I didn't want an answer
that was gonna make me look like a dipshit.
I'm sorry, Joe.
Yeah.
It's okay, Joe. It's just... Fuck!
This fucking town.
Nobody knows how to fucking behave.
Hey.
-Hey. -Hey.
Hey.
You are.
Okay.
[laughing]
-Holy shit! -What? What? What?
Oh, fuck!
Dude, dude, dude, what the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck is this?
-You can't keep doing this shit. -What?
I just missed the fucking...
-Oh, fuck sandwich! -Then just fucking circle back around.
"Circle back around!" It's not fucking that...
It's fucking harder than that.
Well, I'm sorry. It was a false alarm anyway.
I thought that it said...
I though that it said that we got picked up.
And it said that we're waiting to hear if we got picked up.
Okay, so, we miss the turn, almost wreck the car...
Because of a false alarm
on a web series wardrobe gig?
-Correct me if I'm wrong. -Don't be a dick.
No, no, no, I'm not. I'm not. I'm just...
I'm just fact checking.
-[chuckling sarcastically] -If that's the reason...
And now I'm circling around,
and I'm gonna want a Fat burger,
and that's literally, the last fucking thing that I want.
Ooh, I could go Jack in the Box.
Not for a web series, you won't.
Okay.
I let the first one go. I did.
But you're that much of a fucked up asshole
that you actually need to make this a thing?
No, no, no.
See, I'm just a guy who realizes that there is, um,
a lot of fucking one-way streets down here.
No, you're just...
[laughing] You're such a miserable prick sometimes.
-You know that? -Yeah.
I mean, all I do is listen to you talk about
how you fucking hate actors?
Okay, well, just...
You weren't fucking listening. Okay?
Because you were swiping your clammy clam fingers
all over your fucking phone.
And all I'm trying to do is drive us home
and vent to my fucking wife.
And to me that seems like a pretty fucking reasonable
fucking thing to do.
But all you do is vent. That's all you fucking do.
"I hate myself. I wanna kill myself.
I wanna fucking shoot myself."
It's all I ever hear!
What do you mean, "clam fingers"?
Okay, first of all,
I didn't say I wanted to shoot myself.
Yet, tonight.
So obviously you weren't listening.
All I do is listen.
[mocking] "All I do is listen."
Okay.
[sighing]
Okay, case in point, do you see what I mean?
See how much this fucking sucks that we missed that fucking turn?
-'Cause you were fucking... 'Cause of you're fucking... -[groaning]
[sighing wearily]
It's just... It's fucking super not chill, dude. I'm just saying.
You're a 33-year-old man.
You can't say "super not chill" anymore.
It makes it tough to be your wife. I'm just saying.
-I'm just saying. -Okay. You know what, dude?
The fucking self-allotted 10-pound-fluctuation buffer that you give yourself,
it makes it tough to be your husband.
Five is ample, sweetheart.
Five is ample. Okay?
[scoffing]
[laughing sarcastically]
What's up?
-No. -Mmm?
No. Nothing.
-No, please. -Nothing.
Indulge me, please. Fucking indulge me. What do you got?
It's nothing. It's...
It's just you... There's...
There's just so much of your mother in you.
Just like nasty, out of nowhere.
And you know what? It's scary.
You should be on something.
[clearing throat]
[scoffs]
Okay, I see what you're doing.
[laughing sarcastically]
I see... You...
You're just saying the thing that's gonna make me fucking put
a knife in both of our bellies.
But, I'll tell you, it's not gonna work.
It's not gonna fucking work.
[sighing]
Because you're dumb.
That's all.
And, no, I just...
I oft worry about how you navigate the day.
But it's just... That's all.
Those are my concerns.
Because I'm in this too. It's you and me, right?
And so, it's like...
I see you got out of bed in the morning and then you get in bed at night.
And so, you... But it's all that space in between that...
-Where I'm consumed with worry and wonder. -Pull the car over.
-I'm consumed with wonder of how you fucking do it. -Pull the car over.
-I'm not.
-I'm getting back to-- -Pull the fucking car over!
Shut the fuck up. What're you doing?
-Pull the fucking car over. -I can't.
-I gotta get on the-- -I don't care. Fucking figure it out.
-Pull the fucking car over. -Okay.
Jesus-fucking-Christ, dude!
Fuck me.
You know, I didn't... You could've told me
you're such a big fan of Hung.
-Shit. -What the fuck are you doing?
Dude, don't fucking hit the driver.
-Fucking piece of shit. -Are you fucking shitting me?
Dude, shut the fuck... What the fuck are you doing?
Do not hit the fucking driver.
-You fuck! -You gotta be shitting me.
Don't hit the fucking driver.
You don't hit the fucking driver!
That's the fucking rule!
Don't hit the driver.
Joe, get in the car. What are you doing?
There's no fucking Joe! There's no Joe.
This isn't a great place to prove a fucking point, okay?
-Yeah, okay. -Get in the car, we're going home.
No, leave me.
You gonna walk around Skid Row at 2:00 fucking a.m.?
No, I'm gonna call Rachel, I'm gonna have her come fucking pick me up.
-No, you're gonna get in the car, we're going home. -You're not gonna touch me.
You're not gonna fucking touch me.
-Get in the car. -Don't fucking touch me.
Don't touch me! -All right. Okay.
Okay.
What the fuck, dude? Hands off my fucking lid.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Okay, okay. Okay.
[laughing]
Do you see? See this right now?
See, I'm stronger than you. Physically.
A lot stronger, all right? Okay?
And that's what matters.
Right now that's what matters.
So, you touch my fucking hair again,
and all bets are fucking off. Got it?
We're done.
Great.
Okay, let's just fucking go home. Jack in the Box is fine.
No.
[sighing]
Okay.
-Hey. -Fuck hey!
We're done-done.
You're a fucking joke.
Ow, my fucking elbow! Fuck!
[Connection Time playing]
♪
We haven't had sex in...
[sighing] A week.
Sixteen days.
Hey, come on.
I forget how important that is, you know?
We just had a nice time.
Would you like some more coffee?
-Sure. -Okay, here.
It's almost done, just...
Brush fire.
[chuckling]
[singing I Knew You Were Trouble]
♪ Trouble, trouble
♪ I'll take you to places You've never been ♪
♪ Now I'm lying on the cold, hard ground ♪
♪ Ow
♪ Now...
Okay, we didn't screw it away, did we?
No.
[sighing] Oh, fuck.
I'm sorry.
That's not gonna cut it.
All right, well, I remember us both being pretty sorry
a couple of minutes ago when we were...
-You know, before, when we were... -No.
Okay. I mean, for both of us.
I mean, look at your face.
No one in the world makes me as angry as you do.
Well, that has to count for something then, doesn't it?
I don't know how I get so mean.
God! We can't do this anymore.
Well, you just said that I do something
that nobody else in the world can do.
[sighs]
So if I take that thing and make it a positive,
-which I have to believe that I can. -Okay. Okay. No. No.
Dumb-dumb, it's not necessarily that.
It's this. It's all of this.
It's... We can't... Something has to change, or, or...
Or?
No.
I know. But, um...
Hey.
-Hey. -Hey.
Hey.
Come here.
Okay I'll come there.
[sighing]
-We gotta get out of here. -Yeah.
-I can do a bloody. -No, no.
Yeah, that was...
Let's go. Let's go.
We'll go to Palm Springs for the night. Get a room at the Ace.
No, that's not... Gross. And no.
I don't know what else there is then.
Yes. Ayahuasca, dig?
Joe.
Well, I don't even know what we're talking about anymore, so...
This place is toxic. That's what we're talking about.
This place is toxic. Which makes us toxic.
The whole thing, we can't...
We can't stay here.
[sighing]
Can we just start with breakfast, please?
I'm being serious, have you...
Have you tried hanging out with us?
Yeah, we're fun...
...-ny to be around.
Hey, Joe. Joe? Joe!
Tina said that Dave has a new hair loss treatment?
I think that we should maybe...
[cackling]
You know what I think it is?
I think that if you would just stand up a little bit straighter
and throw your shoulders back, and just kind of... just... I don't know.
I just think people would take you more seriously.
[indistinct conversation]
I'm going to say something incredibly rude.
Like, I'm just more of a tomboy. I think that that's...
Don't.
Like, I just don't connect a lot of girls, but...
Your brain's a terrible cornerback.
My... My brain's a terrible quarterback?
Cornerback.
It has bad coverage on your mouth.
Please just shut the fuck up.
[glass shattering]
Okay, the worst of times. I know. I get it.
But I have this thing called my job.
Okay.
How many times in the last month because of your job
have you threatened to kill yourself or begged me to kill you?
[stuttering]
Well, I wanna die.
Okay, what I'm gonna do is, I'm gonna cut my dick off.
And, and then I'm gonna swallow it. Softly, though. Okay?
So it lodges in my esophagus,
so if I don't choke to death my dick stump will fucking bleed out.
I don't even deserve to kill myself.
That's how bad it is.
And that's why I must.
What do you suggest?
My parents' place in Vermont.
It'll be nice. Real nice. Thursday through Sunday.
-We come back Monday. -They wanna sell it.
They wanna be in Florida.
What? Okay, I don't know much about the housing market out there.
-But I'm sure it's a good time to-- -I can't live here anymore.
It's sunny every day.
-Sunny every day. -I threw a bottle at you last night.
Man, I don't know either, okay?
We gotta go.
I gotta go. Or... Or I gotta go.
'Cause if we stay here, then we're...
I have a job, okay? And you have a job.
We have this fucking house.
We can rent it. Or you--
So you threw a bottle at me last night.
You call me fat directly, twice a month.
Indirectly, I don't know. I don't know.
Who knows how many times that is?
Not at all completely accurate,
'cause I'm merely suggesting that you not get fat.
Because I'm... I'm a victim of my condition.
That's what I'm saying...
-And so, I'm a victim of my environment. -That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
[phone vibrating]
That's cute. Okay.
Guess I got to run out to Chatsworth
to buy James Franco's little brother a bag of Molly
on my Sunday.
Okay. Now, this time,
when I draw up the bath and ask you to drop the toaster in,
you're gonna do it.
You get me?
[mellow music playing]
Okay, okay.
I see what you did.
Fucking Vermont? What are you gonna do there?
I think it's good that you're leaving before the break.
Hold on, I have something really awesome for you.
Maya Angelou, she said that?
Yeah, here look at this. Boop, boop.
It's universe spray.
Cheddar cheese.
[sighing]
What are you gonna do out there?
I'm gonna take Walt. I'll tell you that much.
Fuck.
Oh, man, it's all happening.
My agent...
I'd like to think that you'd miss your friend too, right?
Don't get all Jerry Maguire on me,
you faggot!
Do you still feel like you wanna move after I sprayed you?
♪
[sighs]
Driving would have been romantic, though, right?
When are we our worst?
When we're together.
A bit more specific.
-When we're in the car. -Yeah.
Okay.
What's up, dude?
-Hi. -Hi.
Thanks.
[male Joe, laughing] Oh, what the fuck is that face?
[female Joe] What? What? What?
[chuckling] You just made the Graduaface. Fuck.
I did not just make... I did not...
Do not fuck me here, Joe.
I'm not gonna fuck you, Joe.
I'm sorry. We swear a lot.
We bring out the worst in each other.
Hey.
♪
[inaudible dialog]
♪
[laughing]
Can I help you with your bags, eh?
[laughs] Yeah. Great shirt.
-I guess I'll take this one? -Grab that one.
♪
This is fucking...
Look at Pete Wentz. He still don't tour.
It's not as sketchy as it looks.
It could Wentz.
It's not Wentz. Don't be a pussy.
[Joe laughing]
♪
[male Joe] Well,
what do we do now?
I don't know. Whatever we wanna do.
I think I'm gonna be good here.
Yeah.
Me too.
Can we get a goat?
Yes, Joe. We can get a goat.
You want a goat?
-You want a goat? -Yeah.
Then we can get you a goat.
-Love you. -I love you.
I can actually... It's funny, I can taste the local.
Do you taste the local?
[laughing]
'Cause this pig was raised just down yonder river, just down yonder river.
-No. -Just down.
This is not yonder country.
No. Downriver.
Oh, yonder.
Yonder river.
Okay.
Also, I haven't looked at my phone in how long?
-Big ups, right? For me. -Yeah.
[mumbling]
He's probably on an airplane.
Do you want more? Get you some more.
This guy.
You can't just ply me with craft beers.
There's nary a G. There's no fucking connection.
-And you knew this. -I haven't lived here in forever.
How am I supposed to know if they don't put up a tower?
"If they don't put up a tower."
Dude, honestly, super not chill.
No.
And I'm using that term intentionally.
Fuck, that's good.
But I don't know how good because my phone can't tell me.
[sighing] Namaste.
Oh, wow.
This is my journey.
[continues laughing]
Oh, what the fuck? What the fuck do we do now?
Talk.
We can talk.
I don't even know what hospital you were born in.
Fletcher Allen.
-In Burlington? -Yes.
What time?
6:13. 6:13.
-a.m.? -p.m.
-Oh, no, you didn't. -Yeah, I did.
That is so you.
It's so fucking accommodating.
And you know what? You did that because you wanted
to hold it over your parents' heads for the rest of their lives. I get it.
Very you.
What else?
About?
That day.
-The day I was born? -Yes.
I don't remember.
I mean, aside from the impeccable timing, I don't know.
You'd have to ask my parents.
I mean, I know that the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck,
and my mother and I both flatlined, but...
Here we are.
[sighing]
Ah, it takes a lot of shit to get here.
[mellow music playing]
Most famous season of Alf? I watched the shit out of Alf.
I had an Alf doll.
-Why you being jammy? -I'm not being jammy.
This is super fucking raspberry preserves, right now.
[laughing]
-I'm not raspberry preserves. -You're super preserves.
No, I'm not... I'm not preserves right now.
Figgy pudding then.
I'm not figgy pudding.
So what are you, 11 in fourth grade? I'm 11, uh...
And she says,
"So your parents are getting divorced."
Aw!
Yeah, and it's...
What had happened was, she'd overheard a conversation
between my older brother and her older sister.
My point is, even land lines can fuck shit up, right?
Anyway, this little cunt...
♪
[chuckling]
Ten-year... That's a 10-year-old cunt.
That's good. That's healthy.
[chuckling]
She said... She says that shit.
And all of a sudden I'm like, literally, Chicken fucking Little,
and the sky is falling on me, and...
I'm just fucking bawling uncontrollably,
and I look back and I actually fucking feel bad for that fucking kid.
♪
Oh, God! And that's when I started fucking being a dick.
Leo Perez told everyone I gave him a blow job.
For real? There aren't any Hispanics in Vermont.
-Okay, I'm sorry. We'll... -Okay...
No, but it was just weird because
after he told everyone that,
it's like the demographic of, or whatever,
like in my high school, the demographic of people who desired me,
totally changed.
All of a sudden the grossest, seediest guys were calling my house.
Your old man must have been super pleased.
It's not like...
You didn't lose your virginity to Ben Roethlisberger right?
[laughing]
[male Joe] Honestly, Joe.
-I know. It's hard. -Joe, you're...
-We've been through the darkness. -I know, I know.
I know. It's... [chuckling]
It's hard for me to know who was first.
'Cause, um...
There were, uh, there were two of them.
[music stops]
Damn.
Like what, on... Consecutive days?
[sighing]
So...
Like...
Okay.
[chuckling] Like a double team?
Like a double team? Like a double team?
It was... I was on a recruiting trip to Tufts
and we went to a party at the Hockey House.
And there was this one hockey player and he was really,
really, really sweet.
At that time, he was sweet. But, I don't know.
Anyway, I think he was Canadian, but...
What are you doing?
-What are you doing? -Just stop.
-Fucking... -[squeaking]
Where's the Xanax? Where's the...
Is there, like, NyQuil?
I want you to stop.
Because you know what I can do?
I can unlearn this.
I can...
[gasping]
-Jesus... -My sweet, sweet...
I can...
[female Joe] Joe?
You think this was easy for me?
You said you had a two-girl situation
-before we got together. -Two dicks!
[groaning] Two vaginas aren't gonna fucking punish anybody.
It's two dicks we're talking about.
Two hockey-playing, motherfucking dicks!
[yelling]
I would rather...
Honestly, I'd rather you get fucking voluntarily gangbanged
by a bunch of terrorists.
Please. Just...
[groaning] Hockey players!
[continues groaning]
If you'd actually waited and listened to the rest of the story...
If you'd been a fucking friend,
you would have heard that the second dick
wasn't... I didn't...
I'm trying to tell you something, like a really shitty...
A really shitty moment in my life right now.
Trying just to share that with you.
You can't make it about you, Joe.
I'm gonna go to bed.
[instrumental music playing]
[man] Jer!
Jer!
White Fang?
-[car stops] -[door closes]
Jer, what the hell are you doing?
He was actually just telling me that reading is a waste of time.
Was he? Well, he's fucking grounded.
-Nelson. -Nice to meet you.
-You too. -Yeah.
What you guys doing? You guys going to work?
Yeah, we're... Well, I am.
I'm painting a couple of lift towers in a lodge in Mad River.
He's gonna fucking watch.
-No shit. -Yeah, it's pretty exciting.
Come on, Jer. Let's go.
Get in the truck.
-Have a good one. -You guys need a hand or anything?
[chuckling] Yeah, I wish, right?
No, no, no. Seriously.
Serious?
[Nelson] You just wanna make sure you go with the grain.
Yeah. I'm not a complete fucking pussy.
Sorry. I don't know if you Hollywood types know how to...
[machine whirring]
You beavered the fuck out of that.
Fuck, man. Kinda all over the place.
I was in Breck for a minute.
Ended up moving back east to work for a consulting firm.
To the city?
Stamford, Connecticut.
Yuck!
Mm-hmm.
-It's the pits. -It was.
What, you just get sick of the office racket?
Yeah.
And I was kinda fucked up.
How so?
Doing a lot of blow.
Probably drinking too much, but...
Such is life?
Such is life.
Plus, I fucked things up with the woman I was supposed to marry, so...
How about yourself? Why did you leave sunny LA?
Well, it's actually not as sunny as they say.
But... No, I don't know. It's...
'Cause my wife would have killed me.
Or worse.
Worse?
Left.
[mellow music playing]
Ah, look at her go.
-My little Vermont Momma. -Hi, Joe.
-Thank you. -There.
-Okay. -Hey, this is Nelson. My new friend.
Nelson, this is that woman I was telling you about.
That woman? That woman? Okay.
-Nice to meet you. -Nice to see you, Nelson Riley.
-You played hockey for Tufts? -[Nelson] No.
-Shut your mouth. -Ski racing.
-What has it been, like 20 years? -Do not say that.
That's not right.
Oh, my God. He skied for GMVS.
-[Nelson] And you went to Mount Mansfield? -Yeah.
Hey, man, why don't you just stay over for dinner?
Do you mind if Nelson comes over for supper and maybe bring his little Jerry?
Well, as long as it's okay with his parents? Is it okay with your parents?
Yeah, that'll be great.
I'll go get changed, I'll be back in a bit.
-[Joe] Okay. -What're you gonna wear? Just so... 'Cause I...
We don't wanna clash. We don't wanna clash it up.
-I'll figure it out. -Okay.
He can stay with us. Can he stay with us? He can stay with us.
Yeah, sure.
Hey, listen, do not fuck this up for me.
Oh, boy.
[mellow instrumental music playing]
[female Joe] They were really, really good. [Nelson] Yeah.
But you know who wasn't really good? Was Paul Epstein.
-Yeah, Paul. -Dick!
Paul was a little bit of a dick. To girls.
-But he wasn't that bad around... -But you were kind of a dick.
-Oh, my God! -You were friends with him.
You were kind of friends with him.
I would've been friends with Doug, but Doug wouldn't hang out with me.
-Because I was, I guess I was little bit of a dick. -You didn't have lights.
-Yeah, I didn't have lights. -[both laughing]
Hey, guys. Hey, um...
Sorry, but I just want you to know that the more that you
focus on this exclusive ski racing exchange, what happens?
I, well... This.
And then I harvest the darkness and then what... You'll be gone.
Okay? And then, you...
[sighing] Oh.
You're gonna get on the ass end of a tongue lashing.
And it gets domestic, okay?
But I don't want that.
I don't want... I don't want that.
Because you're my best friend and you're the most beautiful woman in the world.
Aw, Joe.
Let's get domestic.
Thank you so much. This is delicious.
You're welcome.
Well, I cooked the meat, shit lips, okay?
Okay, "shit lips" was a little aggressive, I'm sorry.
No, "shit lips" was pretty accurate.
So was it weird changing your last name?
Bro?
I thought about doing the hyphenated thing.
[sighing]
[blowing raspberries]
What?
I thought about hyphenating my last name.
No, you didn't.
[female Joe] No, I did, actually.
Well, you can't Indian-give a last name.
You can't, uh...
Because we're not Indians. Because we're not, um...
And moreover, we're not lesbians.
So, uh... And, we're not lesbian Indians.
We're just having a conversation.
We're just... We're just talking.
-[Nelson] I didn't mean to-- -You didn't do anything.
-You're fine. -You didn't mean to do anything.
Because you didn't... Because it's not a thing. Because it's not a thing.
It's not a thing because I said it's not a thing. That's why.
Oh, give me a break.
You think he... My man's been through the shit.
Please.
[chuckling]
You're gonna give me that...
You know, that's...
You know what that look does though?
It makes this more aggressively this.
[laughing]
But you know... But you know that you do this.
And that's what makes you 10 times sicker than me.
Fuck it. Let's just do it. Let's just do it.
Let's just put it all out on the thing.
And let's just talk about
what you would do
to make me the guy you wanted to marry.
Sometimes, I wish that you were an entirely different person.
Okay, anybody for a little sponge cake or a little wine?
See, Young Frankenstein's
what he does.
Hey.
Here we go.
[Nelson] You guys like it here?
I do.
We do. We do. We do.
I mean, it's different than, like, the last 10 years.
But, it's familiar. You know, it's home.
And he did this for me.
So, it gives him
a little bit of wiggle room
to be a dick.
[Nelson chuckling]
[mocking playfully]
[both continue laughing]
Oh, my God. Really?
Breaks up the monotony.
-You're all right. -Exactly, dude.
You're all right, buddy. You're okay, Jer.
Hey, can I take him tomorrow? Are you guys working?
Yeah, sure.
[female Joe] Glycerine. [male Joe] Glycerine gum?
How long has this shit been in here?
Those don't go bad. They don't go bad.
No shit.
We can make whipped cream. We can make whipped cream.
That's a fuckin'...
♪ Our butter love, yeah
♪ And some motherfucking Whipped cream ♪
♪ And we'll put some Faggot beer ♪
[laughing] Mine didn't work.
Yeah, mine was to the tune.
♪ Is a faggot beery...
[laughing]
This is the best night ever.
-Let's just do it. Let's just do it. -What?
We're gonna put a pumpkin patch baby in your belly.
That's what's going on.
[soft pop music playing]
[female Joe laughing]
[female Joe] Oh, yeah.
Your stupid face. I like your stupid face.
[male Joe] Pull my hair. Just kidding. Just kidding.
-[female Joe laughing] -I was just kidding.
[female Joe moaning]
[male Joe] You know I'll only go down on you if you have these on.
[laughing]
That's good. Then I can actually see what's happening.
[moaning]
[female Joe laughing]
-Now suck my dick. -Done and done.
[laughing]
Come on.
[lively music playing]
[male Joe] Hey, do you wanna have kids?
Yeah, sure.
Well, I guess I'll have to meet someone that I wanna have one with first. But...
Well, that's just science.
[Nelson] Do you guys wanna have kids?
[male Joe] Yeah. Fuck it, right?
Wait, why did you ask surprised?
No. I'm...
I mean, Jesus, I don't even know you and that was enough, last night.
It was intense.
[laughing]
That was, like, green tea. You should see us on meth.
That's fun?
Fun?
That's cute. What does that even supposed to mean?
Sure. Yeah, it's fun. We have fun.
But, I honestly don't even know what that means.
Okay. Okay, Canadians. They have fun together.
Not real people. Not real Americans.
That's not true.
When was the last relationship you were in?
A year ago.
Was it fun?
We always say that shit when she's gone. But what happened?
I spent the down payment on our house on Final Four bets and cocaine.
Okay. All right.
Anything's gonna seem fun after you do some dumb shit like that.
-Come on. Okay, I'm a dick. -No, no, that's not cool, man.
No... Yeah, I'm a dick, but...
Come on, man, it can't be all love all the time.
It's not... [laughing]
God! Maybe that's why I'm a dick.
May be that's why I fucking say some dick-headed shit.
Because it just seems better than the alternative.
I don't...
The point is you're hurting people's feelings, okay?
And not just that, girls' feelings, they get hurt different.
Those feelings are a lot different.
Dude, feelings are meant to get hurt.
Feelings are meant to get felt.
♪
Run there.
How about this, huh? Look at this.
I didn't want to jinx it.
How could you not hold hands through a covered bridge?
Yeah, right.
[chuckling]
-Sorry. -Thank you.
[male Joe] Oh man, we have to order everything,
because we can't afford not to.
No, come on. This is what I'm saying.
Like this face, look at this. Look at this, look at this.
You want me to do that thing?
I'll do a whole goddamn procession.
This face.
-Okay? -Okay.
-Going to the bathroom. -Okay.
Hey, shouldn't you like not be drinking?
No, it's fine.
-Really? -Yeah. I mean, it doesn't matter.
Dude, I don't wanna have the fucking Penguin for a kid.
-Okay. -'Cause we'll just dump him in the sewer. Right?
Okay, drink up. Let's fucking party.
I can't get pregnant right now.
It's a thing. I know...
I did the math. I do it every month.
-Can't get pregnant right now. -Okay, let's hypothetically... Next time.
Next cycle, next moon cycle.
Uh, we have a boy.
We name him Jimmy Rum.
-No questions asked. -Oh, okay.
Uh, or we name him
-Colonel Mustard. -[laughing]
-And if it's a girl. -Maeve.
Shit.
I like that.
[footsteps approaching]
Okay. Can I interest you guys in some dessert?
Well, do you have bread pudding?
Yeah, actually we do.
Oh, so that means we have to get that.
He doesn't have a lot of rules,
but he has bread pudding and then there's two other rules.
Okay, this sounds fun.
He can't be friends with anybody who watches Family Guy
and he always has to stop at a lemonade stand.
And I don't know why I find those stupid rules sexy, but I do.
Well, one woman's sexy is another woman's...
Then we had to open another dining...
Oh, honey, honey, come here, I was just talking about you.
Oh, no.
[all laughing]
[female Joe] Hey, that meal was amazing.
And Marie just said, you... you just started being a chef.
It's like a new thing.
Well, I'm a cook. I'm not a chef, but...
Whatever you want to call yourself, that was really, really good.
I was just telling these two that their story is not so different from ours.
[cook] Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Yeah, we just kind of, like, quit our life in L.A.
-So... -Sabbatical, kind of. Just a little...
Huh.
-What did you do in Hell-A? -He was an agent.
I mean, still kinda, yeah. Still am-ish, you know.
And I also worked in the business too.
Wardrobe.
That sounded bad. That's...
-Because what I'm saying is less business... -Ah-ah.
-...more creative. -Oh.
Because you're creative. You're creativer than I am.
-[female Joe] Yeah. I keep doing this. -And that's fucking good.
You are the creative-est.
-Damn. -Don't.
All right.
So, you guys just said, the hell with it?
Yeah.
Hmm.
That's... That's noble.
Why did you...
Why the surprised tone from him?
'Cause you said that we have similar stories.
[Marie] It was similar...
Similar, broad strokes.
Well, then why did you guys move here?
Well, have you seen it outside? We love it here.
If you don't count November through April.
But we always thought that we would end up here, right?
Yeah, and sometimes life can be, you know, a prick.
[all chuckling]
Yeah, but...
[cook] Yeah. Well, all right. '07?
-'08, right? -Mm-hmm.
Working downtown.
And, shit crashed, everything changed.
So what did we do?
-Next thing I know, we moved up here. -[Marie] Winter of '08.
-Winter of '08. -Mm-hmm.
-It's freezing. -Hmm.
Um, and I couldn't even get a job,
you know, making drinks.
But, um...
Okay, so wait. You just...
[clearing throat] You just got canned?
You didn't opt out for a fucking cage-free life?
Uh, no.
[Marie] But he wouldn't change a single thing.
That is right. She is right.
Hey, bro.
Hey, dude, would you...
Would you still be pushing money around
if you hadn't got fucking dicked in the recession?
I hope not. It sucked.
-Yeah, but-- -I mean, I probably wouldn't have gotten out,
but I was, you know, forced out.
But thank fucking God that I was.
But, you know,
when we moved up here a few years ago. I mean, it was...
It was hard, man. It was dark.
But...
Yeah, sometimes life gives you a pile of shit
and you just have to figure out a way to... You know...
-Grow a soul, Simon. -[chuckling]
Right. That's right.
-Caps for me, stems for you. -Okay.
Don't look so worried.
No, no, I'm not. I'm not.
I'm... I'm good.
It's just... You guys... You guys are happy.
Yeah. Well, we're too old not to be.
But that first year,
that was tough.
Yeah.
Winters are tough.
You guys can do it, though.
Yeah. Yeah.
I just don't... I don't wanna...
I don't wanna be blamed for, you know, everything.
Oh, my God. That's what marriage is all about.
Having someone to blame and then someone to laugh about it with.
-Those guys are great, huh? -They are.
They're good people. I like them.
Yeah, they're sweet. Just really sweet, and...
-But with that nice city edge, you know? -Mm-hmm.
-It's nice. It's refreshing. -That's nice.
-So you're gonna say it? -Yeah, I just did.
Super city sweet, sweet edge.
Are you gonna say it or are you gonna keep doing the thing?
Yep.
Are you gonna say it or you gonna keep doing this, which is...
"It's great, it's great."
It's you doing you.
And that's fun.
-It's a fun show. -Yeah, yeah.
Don't look at me like that.
Say... Are you gonna say it?
I'm saying it. I'm saying it.
This is such a great impersonation of you doing you.
No, I...
-So this is you... -Think I get it. Think I get it.
-...doing you. -Who else would do me if I didn't do me?
Why did you put on movie-trailer voice for that?
-Who else? -[chuckling]
Ah, no. I have a hard time. Yeah...
I think I would do the best version of me.
Okay.
[sighing]
Okay. But here's the thing, you have to say it.
Because if you don't say it, it's gonna fester
and it's gonna procreate in that brain of yours.
And then, it's gonna come out like a...
[clearing throat] Like one of the... Like a...
[chuckling] Like an Old... an Old Faithful.
Like a geyser?
-Like an Old Faithful. -Sure.
I see it. I see what you're saying. Don't get it.
-Wanna get it. Yeah. -Okay.
You need to say it. You need to say it.
-I need you to say it. -Get your damn hands off me.
I'm gonna put my fingers so they touch.
I'm gonna put them through your whatever that is, your wing.
And I'm gonna kick you in your fucking Candy Maldonados,
-is what I'm gonna do. -[chuckling]
-Well, then triple bucket shot and gets a heel to him. -Yeah. [grunting playfully]
-Say it. Say it. -We agree to disagree.
-You wanna know what it is? You wanna know what it is? -Say it. Say it...
He fucking didn't quit his job.
-He didn't quit his job. -There it is.
He had no choice.
And now he has to go back to the fucking drawing board.
[laughing]
And he has no choice but to accept the life he was forced into.
Not the life he chose because what happens?
With a choice comes that inevitable second guess.
Okay, um...
Have I ever ordered something
and have been happy while eating it?
Okay, that one time when we were...
I was eating the baked eggs and that porchetta,
and the fucking black eyed peas or whatever it was,
it was in that snobby, bullshit place in Wilshire.
I was stoked. But that's fucking once in how many...
All the other 700 thousand times, what have I done?
I've lusted after somebody else's plate.
Or something from the menu that I only knew in words.
But, like, what I'm saying is,
that if somebody makes you something, right?
And there's no choice,
it's nine times out of 10, pretty fucking good.
You said to say it.
What about tonight?
-I thought it was great. -What about every date night?
It's usually great.
-It's usually great. -Usually great.
It's usually great.
Why are you making the face that you're gonna say something but?
Like your but, it's usually--
Well, except... Except when I ruin it.
That was... It's only...
That's just me being, doing, taking ownership for...
Right.
[sighing]
It was great.
We're good sharers.
Yeah, we're good sharers.
Come.
Get in.
That's good. Don't... don't take too much off,
but don't put too much on it.
-Look at all that. -That's a lot.
-That's why I'm taking it off. -Look at how small that toe nail is.
You don't need that much. You're not painting a house.
-Less... -Is more.
-Less is more.
-But not too less, 'cause then it's none.
Gotta get... Cover it.
Hey, don't you miss me complaining about terrible scripts?
Meh.
Oh, sorry. Oh, my God! I remember something about a goat,
but I don't see a goat.
Where's my goat? Where's my goat?
It's at the goat farm.
Okay, dig on this, organic Mani-Pedi salon.
-We open it up. -Ooh.
-Mom and Pop operation. -Sure.
I think it's a good move, but I still want my goat.
-I still want it. -[chuckling]
I still... I... 'Cause...
No, it's gonna happen. No, it's gonna happen. It's... Just...
My mouth, goat's penis, roll camera.
[Nelson] Hey, man.
Would you be bummed out?
I'd be a little disappointed if you... with the goat?
-[Nelson] Hey, hey, hey. -What's up, dude?
[Nelson] What's going on?
Nothing. Painting some toes. How're you doing?
Good. What's going on?
Hey, do you know any goat farmers?
Uh, no, I don't. Should I?
Bummer. I don't know, um...
Also, thinking about opening a little organic Mani-Pedi shop.
Artisanal. Only using fruit pigments.
That's...
That's actually a pretty good idea.
You guys sure this is okay? I'm gonna be gone for 10 days.
Yes. Oh, my God. He can stay as long as he wants.
-Okay. -Yeah, man, we... We didn't come out here
so we can continue to not take care of our friends' pets.
Yeah. Okay.
-Thank you very much. I appreciate it. -All right, dude. Hey. Hey.
[in rough voice] Don't let the darkness in.
Don't what? I don't... No!
-Hookers and cocaine. -No, man, no.
[in normal voice] Bachelor party. Hookers, cocaine.
[imitates sniffing]
Date dinner. I Am Legend.
-[grunting playfully] -No, no, no.
We're going camping in the Adirondacks.
Gay.
-Thank you so much. -[female Joe] You're welcome.
-Have fun. -Good day.
Bye-bye.
[sighing]
That dude's over me.
-Was he ever under you? -I wish.
-[engine starting] -He's kind of a dud anyway.
Yeah, but he's really good looking.
Yeah, he's all right.
-You slept with him. -What?
We were 12 when we knew each other.
But you grew up fast. Didn't you?
-If you know what I mean? -[chuckling] No, I don't.
-I don't know what you mean. -Right. In your Lorna Doone.
[laughing] My... Okay.
It's shocking that someone doesn't like you.
I agree. I'm the best.
[mellow music playing]
[female Joe clearing throat]
Joe, it's not a Magic Eye poster.
[sighing]
I only want to see it. We have to see it.
I've seen rough cuts, though, I know what happens.
Let's just see something else.
No, it'll be good.
I mean, not the movie but the anger.
God, you're glutton for misery.
I got him this fucking movie.
And you're getting paid for it.
I still don't get its fucking sequel.
Okay. So, we...
We pay for a different movie, but we see this one.
-You're a good friend. -Fuck friends.
No, I wanted him to get it.
[male Joe] Holy fucking...
Dick sack! He's going to get a fucking franchise from this shit.
I did all the fucking light work too.
Really? It was... It was so bad.
It's gonna gross 200 million, though.
I mean, Americans love garbage.
Exactly, Joe.
You wanna perpetuate in an industry of garbage?
You really wanna be part of the problem?
Jockeying for the next million dollar comic book movie,
so that the movies you actually like will never get seen or made.
Come on, you get to be a consumer now.
Isn't that relaxing?
I don't even like movies.
-Or anybody. -Right.
Garcon?
Can I have another Double Darkness please?
You mean Double Sunshine?
Well, you say milk, I say meelk.
Please.
You really wanna add more gas to the fire right now?
Are you suggesting that I don't have another beer?
[clearing throat]
Well, I recall you had a side order of fries.
What?
You don't like when I drink, I don't like when you eat. Let's just call it a wash please.
[male Joe, slurred] ♪ I know I fucked up
[thumping]
♪ I know I fucked up
[slurred] ♪ I know I fucked up
♪ I know I fucked up, but...
♪ Please
♪ Baby, don't tell our friends about me ♪
♪ Hummingbirds hum
♪ Worker bees buzz
♪ [indistinct] 'Cause that's how it does ♪
♪ I'll write songs to help me deal with issues ♪
♪ Sure some people may
♪ Hear too much But, babe ♪
♪ Don't tell our friends About me ♪
♪ Babe...
Fuck you.
♪ Don't tell our friends about me ♪
Come here.
I don't give a fuck if people think I'm playing...
They're playing fucking fantasy football. I don't give a fuck.
I don't wanna be here, dude. Dude, I don't wanna be here.
[softly] ♪ I know I fucked up
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
'Cause you fucking made me do this, beer.
What?
I'm gonna take a dog bath...
With a dog...
Give me some help.
[bottles clinking]
[male Joe grunting, sighing]
[instrumental music playing]
♪
-What's up, dude? -Hey, man, what's up?
Nothing.
Here. Figure out a way to open that.
-[Joe] Okay. -Open it up.
[man] Yeah, buddy. Yeah!
-[man] All right. -[boy] I got it.
-[woman] You dropped it. -[man] No, he got it.
[male Joe] Oh, man.
-That's the fucking chest. -Yeah.
Mmm.
Don't tell anybody.
About the Misty River beer cage?
-Yeah. -Who the fuck am I gonna tell?
I don't know. It's just...
I just... This is my spot.
Okay, dude.
I'm not gonna...
No, I know, I know. No, I'm being crazy.
Yeah.
You think I could have a job as a bartender?
Have you ever worked behind a bar before?
No.
Sure.
Cool.
-Thanks. -Yeah.
You don't wanna do that though.
[stuttering] Yeah, just for now.
Okay.
Yeah.
-Hey. -Hi.
Small-town life.
So, look around. Look, there's water,
the sun is shining on the water, there's a covered bridge.
Look, there's a barn, it's decaying in the exact, perfect Vermont-y way.
[chuckles]
-Amazing, right? -It is. It's so... It's...
So... It's pretty.
-That's convincing. -Pretty.
It's... I... It's great.
I don't know why I can't...
Why anyone can't just appreciate the moment.
Uh, well,
maybe it's because you're 28?
I'm 32.
Oh, I like you much more now.
[laughs] Thanks.
No, it's just, I came here to relax.
I came here to just take a breather for a minute and just stop and...
Now all I'm worrying about is just everything.
Like I'm just worried. I'm worried that tomorrow something terrible is going to happen.
I just feel like everything's just going to fall apart.
I remember when I was 29, I spent the whole year
obsessing about turning 30. The whole year. That's all I thought about.
And then when the day came, and I turned 30, it was like,
"Oh, I'm 30."
I wasted a whole year.
And then kids? Fuck!
I...
I don't even know if I've begun to start loving myself.
I think I'm right there, but I can't...
I can't live for other people. I can't do that.
Kids give you someone to lash out at.
Aging is the antidote.
There comes a time
when you just cannot be miserable.
-You can't afford to be miserable. -I hope you're right.
But, you know, I'm in my thirties now and I've...
I'm starting over and I dragged the guy who has...
Who had a career and I
brought him right down with me.
Oh, you did not drag a guy down with you.
Well, I don't know, maybe you did.
You guys came here for the geographic marital fix, right?
You get a couple of months out of that, maybe.
You're young, you don't have kids.
Yeah, you could.
Oh, no. That's not... We don't... I don't... That's not... I don't...
♪
So it's not really cocktail country up here. It's pretty much beer, wine.
Okay.
-Occasional martini. -I can handle that.
Okay. [chuckles]
-What? -Nothing.
-Right on. -Okay.
You good?
Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. Are you okay?
[male Joe] Yeah, I'm fine.
♪
Jerry!
-Hi There he is. -Hey.
[grunts]
Oh, you look like you don't care about me. I like it.
-How are you? -I'm good. How are you?
-Good. -I guess the honeymoon's over, buddy.
[chuckles]
-How did he do? -He's the best.
Yeah, he's okay.
How was your trip?
It was pretty gross.
[laughs] I get it.
Yeah.
How's the transition going?
It's, um... It's good. I mean, it's...
[sighs] It's, um... Yeah.
You guys haven't killed each other, so that's a plus, right?
-What does that mean? -No.
No. Just that you guys, you know... It's difficult
when you go from one extreme to this.
Well, yeah. Yeah. Obviously.
What did you mean, though, by that we haven't killed each other yet?
I shouldn't... That...
I...
Come on. Just say it. 'Cause I need... I...
I need a little perspective.
You guys are great.
-But? -You're passionate.
Passionate? You make it sound like it's a bad thing.
I don't know. You guys... I mean, I'm probably
putting these feelings out on myself because I don't have a choice,
but you guys are fucking crazy.
You're not crazy, but it's crazy,
you guys together, which then makes me feel like it's
more than okay to be alone,
That is fucking terrible to say to someone and that's not what I meant.
This is...
I was talking about myself,
-and that's horrible. -It's, it's fine.
I'm so fucking hungover right now.
Fuck! My buddy left his wallet in my truck.
I should probably bring it over to him.
Yeah.
I... That...
-Don't take that the way... -No. God, no, no.
Okay. Sorry.
[sighs]
-Great, that's hurtful. I guess he's gonna... -[laughs]
-Yeah, no... -...stick around for a little while.
-I'll pick him up in like a half an hour. -No, he's fine.
He's fine here.
-I didn't, I didn't... -Don't even, I'm not... Didn't even...
Hey, guys.
How're we doing?
-Fine, thanks. -Good, how are you?
I'm actually all right. Thanks for asking.
-What can I get you? -You don't have a white Bordeaux. Do you?
I do.
Funny you should say that. I've been super in mineral-y whites.
-I'll have an Old Fashioned. -Right. Have you had the Double Sunshine?
-I don't know what that is. -It's a beer.
But, I gotta be honest, it's much more than that.
It's a game changer. That's for sure.
I'm not in the mood for beer, so I'll just stick with the--
Oh, it's more than a beer, though. That's what I'm saying. It's more than a beer.
It's made just down here. Just down yonder in town.
Um...
I'm gonna give you a taste.
It's actually on me. This is what you're gonna have. 'Cause you're gonna love it.
-You're gonna fucking love it. -Okay.
[man] Anyway, so, yeah, we actually tried to sign him a few weeks ago.
One of his reps just up and split.
[woman] That seems crazy.
Yeah, no, I know, you don't leave once your guy has got heat.
The buzz was that he was too tall to be a star.
But I don't know, he's got the fucking goods.
For us it kinda weird 'cause we don't rep lot of actors, it's mainly athletes.
[woman] Mm-hmm.
[man] I think he can put asses in the seats for sure.
Okay.
Who put you up to this?
No, it's good. It's funny.
Was it Donny? It had to have been Donny. Who the fuck else would it be?
He knew you guys were coming out here. But how would he know that I work here?
Fucking dicks.
[laughing]
It's funny. It's a good bit, but,
you know,
the jig's up.
What's he talking about?
Uh...
Buddy, I...
What are you doing?
What am... [stuttering]
What are you doing?
Okay, 'cause you're talking about Dave. Okay?
You're talking about my guy.
And here's the thing, dipshit. It's not that he's too tall to be a star.
'Cause he is a star because I made him a star. Okay?
He's too tall to be a superstar. The T Cruises, the Brad Pitts.
I just started to fucking accept this whole--
Okay, buddy, I don't know what the hell is happening here, but...
Dude, please. Honestly, I know you came up here to look at the leaves,
so just enjoy it, dude.
Drink a craft beer. Check out the girls.
[man] I didn't mean to upset you.
Upset me? You think I'm fucking upset? You think this is upset?
You think, what do you think, I feel threatened?
You think I feel threatened because I'm pouring you drinks
and talking about fucking mineral-y whites?
You think I don't have the gravitas to bury you?
You don't think that? You don't think...
Because what I'll do, I'll shove my gravitas up your ass, you dirty cunt.
[man] All right, listen, pal, first off, this is inappropriate.
-It's inappropriate? -Yeah, you wanna go outside we can do that.
If I wanna go...
Sit down, 'cause here's the deal.
Your shit-take agency won't ever
rep another actor not named Cory for the rest of...
Fuck it. Have Joey Lawrence. Let me give you the guy that hosted Double Dare.
Okay?
And we calls it even, okay?
But then what I'm gonna have you do is, I'm gonna have you get on all fours next,
and I'm gonna have you crawl. I'm gonna have you crawl to get to a place
were I'm gonna even entertain the thought of letting you suck my dick.
Okay? Because I'm coming back and I'm taking them all with me.
'Cause this place is fucking dead, anyway.
Hey, dinner's on me.
I'm assuming he's fired.
Yeah, I'm assuming he quit.
So, same thing.
You can fool people, but you can't fool yourself, dude.
You tried, but for only so long. So fuck it. So fuck it.
There's fucking still so much... Listen, there's still so much to do.
There's still so much to do.
We can do this. We can fucking do this.
But just not now. We can do it later when we're fucking old.
This is the thing that...
We can't, we tried. It's just, I'm not done.
Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. How the fuck are you gonna say this?
Joe.
[clears throat]
We can't do it. I can't do it. I can't be here.
If we're gonna leave, we gotta leave.
Like, we gotta go fucking deep in the canopy.
Go to Istanbul. Fucking Morocco. I don't give a fuck.
But it's gonna follow me.
And I can't get away. And it's not... This isn't, This isn't...
This wasn't part of the plan. We're supposed to get away. I was supposed to fucking be...
Just slow down. What are you saying?
I don't know what you're saying.
What I'm saying is that I spent 10 years, 10 years becoming this person.
And sure, yeah, I talk about how much I hate him
and I want to fucking kill him sometimes, but...
I just don't really want him to die.
Okay.
Joe.
Hey, hey, hey.
We can do this. We can do this. This isn't going anywhere.
We can do this and I want to do this. And we will do this.
But not right now. Can't we just do it when we're old?
So you wanna go back?
I wanna go back.
-Is that crazy? -No.
No, it's...
-It's not crazy. -Okay.
-Hey. -Hey.
You should go.
Yeah, I know. This place is a...
What do you mean "you"?
I did this.
I dragged you here.
I did this. I did this.
We did this.
-No. -Yes.
We dragged us out here.
It's just not gonna work. It's just not gonna work here.
And it's fine. That's fucking fine.
'Cause I tried. I fucking tried.
I was... The fuck.
I know, I know this is gonna sound stupid and...
-No, it's fine. -I don't have an identity.
You don't...
Don't pull that shit, dude. I don't have a fucking... Jesus! Are you fucking 27?
Don't make me feel stupid about it.
I'm not. I'm just saying. Come on.
What am I?
My wife.
I can't just... I can't just be your wife.
-I'm just saying that's just what you are. -A man, a man, a man
can't be my big crowning achievement.
Okay, come here.
Hey. Nobody's saying that's your fucking crowning achievement.
You can do whatever you want. Whatever you want.
And I just, honestly...
We can go get the fucking crown.
Hey.
When we were leaving LA...
Nothing, just I...
What?
Uh, nothing.
-What is it? -I didn't think you'd actually come.
Well, you fucking know me well, huh?
You didn't think I'd come? You didn't think I... Well... [laughs]
I'm fucking here, okay?
It's not you.
You're gonna give me the "it's not you, it's me" bullshit?
It's us.
It's not you, it's me. It's not you, it's me.
You know what that fucking means. That means it's me,
when you say that bullshit. Don't you think I fucking know it?
You don't think I fucking know?
You don't think I fucking watch... I watch this shit.
I watched me do the things that I do.
And you still do them. That's the fucked up thing.
[crying]
I'll take... I'll go to... We can go to therapy.
I don't want to go to therapy.
-What's that gonna do? -I'll take fucking drugs.
I'll do whatever it fucking takes.
I'll take a fucking bullet for you, you know that.
I...
[crying] I just wanna be alone. That's it.
I just wanna be alone.
You want a divorce.
No. That's not what I'm saying. I didn't say that.
Then you wanna live on just opposite sides of the country.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe.
Like, for a little bit, I don't know.
-Oh, that'll look good. -What?
That'll look good?
I'm so sick of fucking giving a shit about what things look like.
I've spent my whole life worrying about what things look like.
It's all I do. It's all I do, is worry about what it looks like.
And on the outside everything is great. And on the inside,
I'm fucking falling apart.
And I just wanna like, like, wanna actually like the person who is on the inside.
I wanna actually, like, enjoy and accept this person.
Just for the moment. And maybe with a fucking smile on my face.
For, like, a second.
[crying] That's all I want.
Well, fuck, man. [laughs]
I thought I was the selfish one this whole time.
That's some shit, huh?
Oh.
[car engine starts]
-[thud] -[screaming] Joe!
[Jerry yelping]
[somber instrumental music playing]
[whimpering]
A little help! A little help!
Doctor!
[doctor] What happened?
I fucked up.
♪
[Speed Of The Sound Of Loneliness playing]
♪